Cooties At the Morgan's
by Domino626
Summary: (Pokemon) Lil' James suprises his family with a crash course on cooties. WARNING: written 3AM, so there's no sanity! B


Cooties At The Morgan's  
Domino  
James: Mom?  
Mom: What?  
James: Mom?  
Mom: What?  
James: Mom?  
Mom: WHAT?!  
James: Can I have a cookie?  
Mom: No.  
James: Why?  
Mom: It's almost time for dinner.  
James: Why?  
Mom: Because we're hungry.  
James: Right, I'm hungry, so gimme a cookie!  
Mom: NO!!  
James: Why?  
Mom: *yells* Jessibelle!  
James: Eee! *runs out of kitchen, smacking into Jessibelle*  
Jessibelle: Hi James!  
James: Eeeeewwww! Cooties! Cooties! *runs upstairs*  
Jessibelle: Mrs. Morgan? What're cooties?  
Mom: *shrugs* Go ask James.  
James: *baracading the door* That should do. Now I can have fun! *jumps on  
bed* Wheeee!  
Jessibelle: *breaks down door* Hey James! What're cooties?  
James: O_O; Freak! *throws a book at Jessibelle*  
Jessibelle: *dodges book* Well?  
James: Cooties are gross crawly things that live on girls and vegetables.  
Jessibelle: That's stupid.  
James: No! It's true! You just can't see them 'cause they live under your  
skin and eat your innards.  
Jessibelle: O_o;; JAMES! That's gross!  
James: *throws another book @ her* Yeah, just like you, ya' cootie factory!  
Jessibelle: *gets smacked by a hard cover dictionary* -_o# HEY!! I'm  
telling!  
James: No you're not! *throws a pillowcase of bricks at Jessibelle while  
singing* You are a Cootie Cosco! You are a Cootie Cosco!!  
Butler: *bricks miss Jessibelle but hit the butler (where it hurts) who  
came to see what all the noise was* Ohh... *tips over*  
James: Score! *jumps on bed more*  
Jessibelle: Where'd you get a pillowcase of bricks?!  
James: From school. I made it during free time, and I wanted to give it to  
you, but I guess the butler can have it.  
Jessibelle: Well I'm still telling.  
Dad: *standing in the doorway on the butler* What's going on in here?!  
Butler: /_\;;;  
James: Pashew! *runs over Jessibelle and pushes past his dad*  
Dad: Woah! *loses balance and falls down the stairs* Jaaaammmeeesss!!!  
James: Sorry, Dad! I've got escape the Cootie Freak!  
Dad: What the devil is a cootie?!  
Jessibelle: A cootie eats you! He called me a Cootie Freak! I don't eat  
people!  
James: You're both so stupid! Cooties don't eat people! They're poisonous!  
Dad: Who's poisonous?!  
James: *eye roll* T-h-e c-o-o-t-i-e-s! C'mon dad! You don't know about  
cooties?  
Jessibelle: I know you're crazy!  
James: -_-# Then why don't you marry me? Then I can be Mr. Cootie!  
Dad: Well, what is a cootie?!  
James: A cootie is the gross parasite that lives under girl's skin.  
Dad: O_o;; WHAT?!  
James: I know! Isn't it nasty? I bet mom has them too.  
Dad: James, you're grounded!  
James: *points to Jessibelle* But she's the one with the cooties! We've  
gotta kill her!  
Jessibelle: You will not kill me!  
Butler: Ohh...  
Dad: You're not going to kill your wife!  
James: She's not my wife yet! She's nothing but a Cootie Machine! And I'm  
serious, you've gotta kill her before she infests you.  
Dad: Stop talking about cooties, Damnit!  
James: Why? Because she's already gotten you and you two plotting against  
the helpless citizens of Earth? Are you going to take us to the cootie  
planet, Cootiopolis?!  
Dad: ... Yes! That's it! Be afraid of me, for I am their leader!  
James: I knew it! You're no longer my father, you're the legendary Cootie  
King! *kicks Dad in the nuts* Hope that shows the cooties of Cootiopolis!  
Jessibelle: Oh! Mr. Morgan is the Cootie King?  
Dad: Ohh...  
James: *rams into Jessibelle* Are you the second in command, you Cootie  
Freak?!  
Jessibelle: I'm not a cootie and I don't have any cooties and *points to  
Dad* he probably doesn't have them either!  
James: Time to die cootie!  
Butler: *picks up James* Master James! What is the meaning of this absurd  
behavior?!  
James: Put me down, you moron! They're cooties!  
Butler (who has horrible childhood memories): O_O;;; Cooties?! You didn't  
touch them did you?!  
James (looking very proud): Yes I did! I kicked their king in the nuts!  
Butler: *drops James* Eeww! Cooties! Cooties! Cooties! *falls down the  
stairs, landing on Mom, who came to tell them it was time for dinner*  
Mom: I'm being crushed!  
Jessibelle: Oh yeah! Mrs. Morgan, James called me a cootie!  
Mom: Jessibelle, I still don't know what that is! And Hopkins, get off of  
me!  
Butler: Do you have cooties?!  
Mom: What?  
James: Don't worry! She's outgrown them! But we've still gotta kill  
Jessibelle.  
Mom: James!  
James: Don't you want to free Dad?  
Butler: Mrs. Morgan, if we kill the origin, we'll all be saved, even your  
husband!  
Jessibelle: Don't let them kill me!!  
Mom: Don't kill her!  
James: Well, would you rather we killed Dad?  
Dad: Ohh...  
Mom: Well, let's just kill the butler for good measure.  
James: Damnit Mom! How stupid are you? The butler doesn't have cooties!  
Mom: James, where did you learn that word?  
James: The Cootie King! *punches Jessibelle*  
Dad: I'm not the Cootie King!  
Mom: *smacks Dad* You taught him that word?!  
Jessibelle: Mr. Morgan, James punched- *gets body-slammed by the butler*  
Butler: You won't take me again! Run, Young Master, I'll hold her off!  
Jessibelle: X_x  
Dad: Hopkins! James! There are no such things as cooties and if I ever hear  
you speak of them again than you're both grounded!  
James: That's okay! *kicks Dad in the nuts again* I'm already grounded!  
Hopkins: Well, I'm not gonna get grounded.  
James: Fine, be a cootie supporter! I hope Jessibelle lives to eat your  
innards, you big fat turd! By the way, Mom, can I have a cookie now?  
Mom: No, it's time for dinner.  
*So they all went to have dinner and the butler and Dad wouldn't sit near  
James because they were scared of him. Jessibelle had to skip dinner  
because she was knocked out in the hallway the rest of the night*  
THE END 


End file.
